I would like to tell you a few personal stories about what I like to call “Stereotype; could be true but incomplete”
We enjoyed our time in the Black Country and I felt we were able to integrate reasonably well into the society there (We are very happy with the prospect of coming back to the area again). This integration meant that we have a number of good friends locally; some of these friends are christians and others are not yet. Most of our friends find it easy to share their views with us while at the same time respecting our own views.
During the initial period of testing my call ( discernment process) to ordained ministry in the Church of England, one of our good friends (a christian lady), upon hearing of it, clearly told me, “Chris, please don’t go ahead to become a vicar”. In my view, discernment is about developing a passion to know God more deeply by seeking His perfect will and can come through a clear disciplined rhythm of prayer, fasting, silence, study and talking & listening to others. So I need to listen to views of others. Our friend thought that becoming a vicar would damage my interpersonal skills and keep me away from people. Our friend’s perception of vicars was that vicars are out of touch and elitists.
A few months later, upon my recommendation to training for ordained ministry, another friend (not yet a Christian) invited me for a chat about my plan to become a vicar. In his usual manner,he listened to me and then told me clearly, “please don’t go ahead with the plan to become a vicar”. He told me that he has been living on the Estate for over 50 years and no body from the Church, including any vicar has ever visited or made a contact to him. He went ahead to say that with my approach to my work, it did not make sense for me to become a vicar, – being a vicar would mean being cut off from people. I told him that one of the things the bishop saw in me and endorsed my recommendation for training for ordained ministry is how I demonstrate the love that I have for people, – the very thing he felt is why I should not become a vicar.What struck me was this: My friend ask me to promise him that if I did still go ahead to become a vicar, I would not discontinue my involvement in the community and lose love and concern for people. I simply answer by God’s grace.
What these conversations with our friends demonstrate, I think, is how dangerous it can be to make one story the only story. There might be well some vicars who are out of touch, inaccessible and unapproachable but there are many who are not. As the Church in England strives to enhance its mission and ministry to the Nation, the tabloids and the headline news do have a tendency to represent her as a negative influence.
And so I began to realise that throughout their lives our two friends must have seen and heard a particular version of the story of vicars and the Church of England as had an elder in an independent church, who once told me that the only work vicars do are baptisms, weddings and funerals. Now, I was quite willing to agree that baptisms, weddings and funerals constitute part of the work activities of many vicars, but I had not quite imagined that it is only work they do. The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue but that they are incomplete.
I believe that it is impossible to engage properly with a person without doing the work of knowing all the stories of the person – or at least as many as of those stories as possible.
So what if our friends had known about the community engagement work my vicar has been doing over 10 years in his ministry in Lye? His presence in the community certainly made our community visiting work less stressful.
What if our friends had known about the work among the homeless that one vicar of Anglo-Catholic tradition (of Church of England) where I did one of my placements does? He even open his own private home for them.
What if our friends knew of the many vicars who have demonstrated a positive and authentic Christian presence and as a result some have even lost their lives. Some have sacrifice their own personal comfort out of love for people.
I would like to end with this thought: When we strive to know a complete story of a person (or a group of persons),we regain a kind of a balance story which help us to value what God is doing in and through them.
teachmelordblogamen 
So true! Stereotypes never tell the whole story. It is always interesting and useful to be aware of them though, so that we know how some in society may view us and to help us consider how to respond. I was very blessed during my time in an Anglican church (church of Wales) and have engaged with many warm, encouraging, passionate, genuine Vicars and Curates who are very much seeking to engage with their community. I know you well enough to be sure that you will continue to be one of those who engages. In my opinion a huge advantage of the church of England is that it’s still the church that non-church goers are the most likely to attend, whether for Christmas, Remeberance Sunday or whatever. That’s an amazing opportunity.
Well said! Stereotypes can never give us the full picture of what’s going on. I’ve been ordained in the Church of England just over 4 years now and am a lifelong member – so I know all the different types of vicars you describe and many more. There are some who engage a lot with the community as you clearly want to continue to do, and some who are much less present and engaged and many somewhere inbetween. It sounds like you’ve just got the ‘yes’ from a BAP so I’m guessing you’re about to start training somewhere – I really hope that goes well and is a great experience for you. I’ve been an incumbent just over a year now and just yesterday I spent the afternoon in a meeting with a rep from Ecclesiastical reviewing the insurance cover we have in one of the parishes I’m Rector of. As I sat in the meeting I found myself thinking – I don’t want my ministry to be about discussing insurance cover – I want to be bringing the good news of Jesus Christ to the people of this community. But, the buck stops with me now that I am the Rector and so I have to spend quite a lot of time doing admin and legal things like this. I realise that before I was ordained, and even while I was a curate, I had far more time and opportunity for the kind of community engagement you are describing. This is something I hadn’t really thought through before I was licensed to this ministry. But I’m guessing my experience is why you and those who have warned you have experiences of vicars who are never seen in the community. It’s a really tough thing to balance too few hours and too many demands and opportunities for mission and ministry. Look forward to following your journey to ordination. God bless.
Thanks for your comment. Yes, I am just starting training at St John’s College Nottingham. The book by Steven Croft ” Ministry in three Dimension” was helpful to me in understanding different kinds of ministry – diakonia, presbyter and episcope. I guess at times our ministry is more in a particular dimension than others but delegation, finding and empowering others in various ministry bridges the gap.
I trained at St John’s Nottingham too – hope you have a really great time there.
Good to know. I have come across a few people withing this month letting me know that they studied at St Johns and they loved it. I trust God I and my family will have a really great time at St John’s. I pray for your new Job that God will help you to fulfill his calling upon you there.